Beyond PMO Consulting

"welcome to my personal blog," Ammar W Mango

  • about me

    Organizational Project Management Consultant, using profession as a platform for learning beyond just work. My passion is learning more about self, people, universe, and God.
    I am into Religion, Meditation, Yoga, and Tai Chi. I love learning about human behavior and motivation.
    I am a gourmand who loves healthy food and following latest research into health and natural healing and remedies. I jog and swim whenever I get a chance.
    Please write and tell me about yourself
    Welcome to my blog
    Ammar

  • New!

    PMPNOW Download Link

    Download my new Mobile App PMPNOW! FREE

Employee Appraisal Quotes: Funny and Probably not True

Posted by Ammar Mango on May 28, 2012

Here is another classic that I love just for fun.  Luckily I seldom had to deal with team members that fit these descriptions and if I did, it was not for long.  However, Here are some claimed employee appraisal lines from supposedly very frustrated managers.   I did not write this but again, it is not clear where they originated from.   Enjoy 🙂

1. Since my last report this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
12. A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an
ordinary ignoramus.
13. He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.
14. He’s been working with glue too much.
14. He would argue with a signpost.
15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.
17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.
18. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
19. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
20. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
21. He’s got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
22. If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
23. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
24. It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
25. One neuron short of a synapse.
26. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
27. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: